Poor Pity Me

Rejection hurts.

Do I sound like a whiny teenage girl who just got her heart broke? Probably. No, Trevor didn’t kick me to the curb. He’s too good of a man to do that. ;)  He’s been an angel, my motivation, the reason to wake up and go to school and work the past couple of days.

Two weeks ago, I went to SUU’s Career Fair to network and chat with future employers. I talked to Café Zupas (oh god, Zupas! *insert heart eyed emoji here*) and interviewed with them on a whim. Though the interview went great, I wasn’t as prepared as I should have been and surprise, I didn’t get the job. I really had my eyes and heart set on Target though. “What? With a bachelor’s degree almost in hand, why does she want to work for Target?” you may be thinking. Well, Target offers a great corporate environment filled with leadership, creativity and innovation, the opportunity to advance, the chance to move anywhere in the United States, and a secure job with nice pay and benefits. Besides that, Target is also a moral and ethical company who supports education and volunteerism. (I know, I’m a geek.) People who work for Target typically love the atmosphere that they’re in, whether the position is clerk to management. Working for Target would be the perfect opportunity to expand and grow as a person, work as a leader and team player, advance my skillset, and become a more diligent worker. 

Anyway – tangent aside about how great Target is – I had a friend who had sent in my resume a couple of days before to her past Target recruiter, and introduced me to them at the Career Fair. I took in my new adult resume, wore my nice fancy clothes, and introduced/pitched myself to them like the adult I am. Low and behold, the next day I was called about an on-campus interview with Target for the following Tuesday. I was thrilled! All weekend long I fretted and studied, practicing my answers to interview questions out loud to my husband. I was so nervous because I wanted it so bad. Monday evening I bought my first professional blazer and a new set of heels for the occasion, and ironed the shit out of all of my clothes.

Tuesday (November 4) morning rolled around, and I had to work in the Copy Shop. I woke up at 5 a.m. to do my hair and makeup to look just right and continued to review and answer behavioral based interview questions. I had never been so nervous about an interview before. My sweet husband knew how nervous I was and was muttering me words of motivation in his sleep. He even woke up before he needed to so he could wander outside to start my car to defrost the windows. Mistake number one: Trevor locked my keys in my car because I thought my spare key would just let me in. We have some weirdo neighbors now and I didn’t really like the thought of my car idling with the doors unlocked. Well, because my car is newer and smarter, it didn’t like Trevor holding the lock down to lock the car as he got out. In fact, it was pissed. Even with my spare set of keys, it wouldn’t let me into the damn car! The automatic buttons wouldn’t work, and I couldn’t get the key to turn in the lock. I ran frantically back into the house, barefoot, to wake Trevor up to help me. By the grace of god, he was able to put enough pressure on the key for it to turn manually. Not the best way to start out an already stress induced morning.

I finished up my shift in the Copy Shop and reviewed questions with a co-worker and my boss. Then, I gathered my wits and headed to my interview at 11 – a whole fifteen minutes early. Once my interview was confirmed, I was taken into the first room. If I made it past the first room and interviewer, I was taken into the second room. If I made it past the second room and second interviewer, I was taken into the third and final room with the district leaders. Guess who made it past three different rooms and interviewers? Yeah. Me. I even was taken on a walk around the Sharwan Smith Rotunda to get drinks with one of the other district managers. The whole interview took TWO HOURS. Longest freaking interview of my life, but I walked away with a smile on my face and a beat in my step.

Interview day with Target // November 4, 2014

Of course Tuesday night and all day Wednesday I began stressing and double guessing myself. Wednesday afternoon while I was sitting in the Copy Shop I received an email from Target HR to take yet another step and fill out their online assessment. This assessment included situational scenarios, “break it down and solve the problem” questions, personality and leadership questions, and then more situational scenarios. Target wasn’t kidding when they told you it would take an hour to complete. This assessment is basically another step in the interview process to see if you are a potential candidate. After all of my doubting, I was feeling really good about this job…

….until I didn’t hear anything Thursday….

…. or Friday morning….

…. By the time the rejection email hit my inbox, I already knew it was coming. I was in tears, horribly depressed, and ready to sign up for grad school because apparently I’m not good enough to work in the real world. (Might I add that it didn't help my ego that I also got a rejection email the same day from Wells Fargo about a teller job here in Cedar because I was “too qualified.”) I called my parents and cried to them for comfort, and didn't leave my husband's arms for a good two hours. Trev learned unfortunately that black mascara and eyeliner running down a woman's face isn't the prettiest and it gets on clothing.

I've cried lots of tears, I've worried myself sick, and I haven't quite felt like myself for the past week. But today, even though the lining of the stomach has been turned into an ulcer from worrying, I'm moving forward and not looking back. Something better is out there for me and everything is going to turn out okay. Someday I'm going to realize why I didn't get that Target job. Someday I'll find the job with the perfect pay, opportunities, and benefits. Last Friday was not that day, and today isn't either. But I'm moving forward.