My {Extended} Family

November 27: Marrying into Trevor's family (both sides) has taught me a lot of things. I guess the number one thing that I've learned is that it is true what people say: when you get married, you're not only marrying the man/woman, but you're marrying their whole damn family - immediate and extended. This includes all of the aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, step-families, great-aunts, great-uncles, etc. etc. etc. You either learn to like and love people in your new family, or you be miserable your whole married life. Trust me, it's easier just to learn to get along with people. 

However, marrying into an entirely new family has made me so grateful for my own extended family. And by extended family, I mean my mom's side of the family. Long story about my dad's side of the family, but basically we don't talk to them. After my Grandpa died the family kind of fell apart; there were too many big issues in the way (theft, drugs, lying) and too many things that couldn't be fixed. I watched at a young age our family - cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandma who I loved my whole young life - fall apart, and my family chose not to be apart of the drama.  

Anyway. My mom's side of the family is the best. Though we sometimes have our moments of drama, we never let anything come between us. But that's what family does; everyone learns to keep their mouth shut unless there's a really big problem, and accepts and loves those around them. As family you're at least expected to like (or pretend to like) someone, even if you can't claim that you love them. For example, growing up my brother Trevor had a temper the size of or bigger than China. He's caused a lot of scenes, made a lot of rude comments, and was a pain in the ass in his younger years. Obviously Trevor has grown up a lot of the past couple of years, but has my mom's side of the family ostracized him? No. They still love and accept Trevor, and know that his temper is just part of his personality. I was so happy and felt blessed when my family readily accepted my husband into the fold. With my mom's side of the family, we don't get together for birthdays anymore, and since a lot of us cousins are grown up sometimes we only see each other at Christmas. We try to make it a priority to keep to the family traditions, like having a Halloween party, celebrating Thanksgiving the Sunday before, and having the family Christmas Eve party. We are lucky to see each other when we can, and we always make the most out of it. We don't have to see each other all the time to make our family work. My aunt Lori was a great help when it came to decorating for our wedding, and both Lori and aunt Shelly threw me a lovely bridal shower. We are supportive of one another, attending mission farewells, graduations, Eagle Court of Honors, weddings, and anything else that comes with a busy family. When my uncle Mike passed away six years ago, my family became so close as we rallied around Shelly, Chy, and Colt and as we kept the memories of Mike alive. Let's also not forget our summer week-long Lake Powell trips; those make for some good memories and stories.

I guess I never realized how much I really loved and appreciated my extended family, nor grasped how comfortable I am around them, until I married into Trev's family. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely adore both sides of Trevor's extended family. In fact, I'm grateful to have married into such a wide range of personalities because each individual offers something new to the family dynamic, something that I can learn from. But with my own famiy, I don't have to watch what I say or do; they know who I am and choose not to get offended by my off-handed, not meaning to hurt anyone silly or sarcastic comments. I hope to eventually get to the point of pure comfortableness with Trevor's family, which will come after years of marriage. But for now, here's to my family. They're an easy-going, hardworking, hilarious, educated bunch of people, and I'm so lucky share the same blood as them.

P.S. Here's my birthday shout-out to my cousin Colton who's a mere four months younger than me. We've always been the best of friends since day one. I love you Coltina, and I hope you have a wonderful 21st birthday. Don't get too drunk. ;) Can't wait to see you at Christmas time.